Branch 58something Newsletter Volume 5
|Stories Index||Joe “Bobo” Roc Finds Jesus
Today was an unusual day, in that, the Florida sunshine beat down on the water with perfect golden rays. The sky was clear and mystical, but the waves, which had been stirred up by our passing hurricane Edouard, looked somewhat mysterious and evil. They were perfect for the best pastime that our Puerto Rican brother loves most; surfing. Yet, still dangerous to mere mortals.
Joe had taken his sister to one of his best beaches, to show off his moves (not related to surfing). Joe had waxed his board to perfection and had performed many 12 ounce curls to obtain his prominent surfer status, However, not even Joe’s awesome physique and trigger like movements could save him from what was about to happen.
He entered the water hoping to ride the largest wave of the season. He was in trouble as soon as the large mountains of water started crashing all over him. Even Joe’s enormous lungs, after being hampered by the many cigarettes outside the FMS office, filled with water like a sieve. He tried valiantly to swim over the waves so he could ride them correctly, but to no avail. To Joe’s surprise he found himself suddenly, going to the bottom of the Atlantic, with no hope of survival.
His life flashed before his eyes, slowly and clearly. He saw himself as the monitor of heaven’s great gate and facility. What an opportunity to get closer to the Lord plus a 50 cent raise while working for Saint Leo up in heaven. At this time, a beautiful angel told him that he was not ready to go to heaven, he had to straighten his life on earth first to earn his raise. Joe promised this angel, that if he survived to ride another wave, he was going to go to church, and quit smoking, and get married to his boyfriend on earth or Martha whichever he found first.
Joe found himself thrashing the waters of the Atlantic, and
swimming for the beach, to save his life. His sister helped rescue him from
the water, and painfully slow he went to his trusted little car and drove
home very slowly.