Branch 58something Newsletter Volume 4 1997

Stories Index January 1997
News from our branch
   We recently allowed one of our operators to become head trainer of our branch. His first consignment as trainer was to develop a re-certification exam that would allow us to reach level II in our Data Center, and to collect a meager bonus.
   This individual took it upon him to apply all his recently gained engineering and psychology knowledge to make this test as hard as possible. The test was given one very hot afternoon and the first group that took the test consisted of our most experienced and time-tested operators.
   To our chagrin and dismay everyone failed miserably. There were no more HVAC mechanics in our group, the diesel tech, suddenly became a greased monkey and the master electricians became apprentices. It was a disaster to say the least. Even our most enlightened Filipino engineer suddenly escaped disaster by one point.
There was concern in our group that BS was going to Pullout our contract if a solution was not found in record time. The second group did slightly better although there were rumors they had a helping hand.
   Some of the questions on this test were extraordinary. There were references to a hat and three gold plated coins, Binary language in reference to smoke, and the effects of cannabis in the human body. "Just kidding". Our PR brother the surfing master "Bobo" even threatened to call his squire if things did not get better. To give credit to our newly enlightened trainer, a make up test was given with ample time for cramming up all the information, and the burned out operators were able to redeem themselves and get a passing grade. The next operator certification test will be an open book test, although we are not sure if we have all the books.
   Mr. DK has been transferred to Atlanta as software engineer. We wish him the best. Our office manager will be in charge of our FMS program and the training.
   The keyboard has been taken away from Black Cloud, since he has a habit of crashing the NT Network.
   The name of our company keeps on changing. Now is " Landis / Staefa/ Electrowatt/ Siemens. As long as the checks keep on coming, to our banks, we do not care where they come from. They could come from Cuba for all we care. We are overdue for another face to face meeting with our bosses. They are so busy changing headers on their e-mail that they have no time for us.
   Recently sparks flew in one of our MAUB's and we lost in an instant all the bonuses for an entire year. Our day count became 0. Thanks to our Piller brothers, Nestor will not be able to upgrade his PC. We feel bad for our Piller brother, but an empty wallet does not smile.
   Congratulations are in order to our recently upgraded operators: "J I Joe" Jack and "Postman" Eric. They have been integrated in our operator's fraternity and with college educated trainees like Peaches, they will do fantastic.
   Thanks to BS for a delicious dinner in gratitude for an outstanding year 1996. Sadly enough thanks to R next year we will eat at MC Donald's.
  We look forward to meeting our new head honcho soon. The first order of business will be to allow us to wear blue jeans at all times.

March 1999
   This was a very good year for us. Many changes have taken place. Our good brother Bobo, finally came to head with the judicial system in Dade County, and he is taking a well deserved rest in a place better left unsaid.
   We have developed a revolving door policy in our branch. When someone leaves, he or she is given a coupon with a six-month expiration date. It seems the idea is working well, and we are acquiring all our operators that have left. Berger Tan, and Yo-Yo Sui are clear examples. Although this messes up our overtime routine.
This entire year was without problems, until that fateful day.
   We had tracked 727 days without a computer incident. Our efficient FMA Manager in Training BV, had reserved a country club with its own fish tank for our well-deserved dinner and fiesta as a celebration of our almost two years without incident. Everything came to a halting crash in an instant. Our dreams of spending our entire bonus and boasting to the fact we were so well trained. Now we are back to zero and taking all the reprimands from all the leaders that were not with us, but are real close when the you know what hits the fan.
   Another incident of great importance in our branch, was the departure of our illustrious leader, which we affectionately called “Papa Smurf”. It is known that when eagles make their nests the first layer of the nest is made of thorns and the rest of the nest, is made of feathers. The idea is that when the eaglets grow and are heavier, the thorns force them out of the nest.    When this story is related to our branch we learn that by our boss leaving he has force us to work harder, depend on each other more, and use our training for the better. We wish him good luck in the land of Dixie. We will never find a replacement for our beloved “Leo 101 training” and for his calm and astute leadership.